i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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