...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
