I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
