you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
