just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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