Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
