Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
