He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
