i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
