I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
