i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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