Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is Oprah even human
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
