Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
