I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize