This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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