Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
