my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
