i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
