She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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