I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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