I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Come on in and take your pants off
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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