i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
