your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
