Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
