yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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