Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
