Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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