I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
