And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
