I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
