and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
