In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
