your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
