Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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