He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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