theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
