Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
