I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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