Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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