yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
