She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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