He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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