Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
