He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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