My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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