We're facebook friends in real life
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Couch. On fire.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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