Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
