By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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