they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
