R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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