Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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