I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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