This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
