I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
tonight lets celebrate not being married
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
