the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
