How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
