It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm just crazy horny about you
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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