this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
