I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
