I'm so fucking centered right now
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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