So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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