i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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