thus making me awesome and them whores
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Randomize
