used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
