I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
